There are stories of courage and faith all around us. This one is about a Catholic family with a special needs child. Recently, now age 18, I had the opportunity to assess their son.
This young person has substantial, multiple difficulties. To protect the family’s privacy, some information has been changed.
I will call their son Thomas. Not Thomas the Doubter but Thomas the Tenacious.
Early on, Thomas’ family knew that their middle child was very different. Though not a problem at home, he got kicked out of a private pre-school for behavior issues. By age four, assessment suggested that he had substantial communication and social delays. Other assessment suggested an array of delays.
In Kindergarten, Thomas’ parents turned down an SDC placement (more than 50% in special ed setting) and insisted on mainstreaming him. His family wanted and got a regular ed placement. He had an aide.
Assessment in second grade showed that Thomas had normal, average cognitive IQ abilities and quite low other abilities. However, thereafter when Thomas’ cognitive IQ abilities were tested his scores were in the bottom 5 out of 100.
“No, we are not going to use the mental retardation label,” the parents said to themselves and to professionals. To Thomas they said, “You can and will graduate from high school”.
The parents set the bar high for Thomas. The parents helped him every night at home and negotiated with the schools for support services to assist Thomas. At times he had an aide. He had Occupational Therapy and Speech services. Throughout high school he had RSP support.
Outside school, Thomas was able to complete religious classes and in high school was confirmed in his church. But he never had any friends.
“If Thomas misses 1 class it is as though he missed 3″ said his mother to me when I tried to set up an appointment to assess him. ” And absolutely don’t take him out of History …” And I did set up appointment times that did not conflict with any of his academic subjects.
And guess what — this June Thomas age 18 will graduate with a high school diploma. True — he has not been able to pass the California exit exams. However, he has completed all the work and taken all the necessary classes. Thomas has worked hard and long to get a diploma.
It has been a hard road for Thomas. It takes him 2-3 times as long to finish his homework compared to fellow students. Though he would like friends — he has no friends. And he cannot drive a car. And except for work experience through Special Education, he has had no part time jobs.
Thomas has a disability called Autistic Spectrum Disorder. It substantially affects his communication and social abilities. Sometimes he mumbles and sometimes he nearly shuts down in his abilities to communicate with people.
When assessing Thomas, one thing shined through — Thomas has sold, normal, average cognitive intelligence. That Thomas has normal, average intelligence is a real strength that will help him in all of life’s situations.
All of us have strengths and relative weaknesses. Thomas has strong intelligence and incredible tenacity. Once he knows what to do and how to do it, he persists and keeps on trying until the task is done. And that willingness to persist and keep on trying was passed along to Thomas by the faith and courage of his parents.
